[14 Nov 2004|08:37pm]
i feel that i have tried my hardest, but i finally realize that it isn't about trying. so if love is true (and i hope it is) may it bring us together in that same way again someday.

Zane wrote this. Zane is the boy Claire and I picked up on the side of the road. He spent a good six or perhapes seven hours with us and Quin. He reminded me of Ben, a more "there" Ben. I really like him I think is a nice guy. Claire droped him off at some abandoned building so he coud go to sleep. She said the last she saw of him was when he hoped over some wall to get to the house. If I do have everything worked out so I have a place of my own......with a roomate, I want to invite Zane to come and stay when ever he wishes. He should have a job though and a place of his own around the same time I will. I guess I like him so much because he reminds me of me, I had to edit something above because rather then saying droped him off I said droped me off....

I just feel like I could be "crazy" every now and then. I was angery with John, my friend Lewis's friend John. He went crazy and I just wanted to smack him and tell him no one was there. I would of if he was my friend.......I didn't want Lewis thinking I was heartless that I couldn't understand. I feel that did, I did understand and I wanted him to stop it.

I want my own Ben, Zane, Me......someone to hold. I used to get so frustrated when people talked nonsense trying to sum everything up into rantins and conflicting statements......but now, I just admire that they are trying to understand. Even if it is some odd, sureal way because everything is what we create. There are so few things we take for what is. Are those real statements? I would not know but in a way it could not matter.

Here is a link to a video Zane showed Claire and I in a coffie shop : [link]